A Friend Going Down A Different Path

You remember Derek, right? That former peace-lovin, treehuggin, free-lovin hippie that once vowed to 'stick it to da Man'? He is now a diaper-changin, office worker who now goes to sleep at 10 pm for something he likes to call 'work'. In short, he is now the Man. How could his life have been so horribly twisted?

Derek is now a member of the 'Bar'. Yep, I saw it. In a ceremony best described as renouncing his pagan roots and making a handshake with the Devil, Derek officially became a lawyer. To be fair, Derek was mocked for his proficiency for using Ziploc bags in a crowded Indian bus and his crossdressing tendencies, to which he attributed to the foolhardiness of impressionable youth.

The reception at the law firm afterwards involved wine and cheese and expensive imported beers reserved only for preferred guests.

His elite lawyer buddies talk about driving their new M6s , J45s and THX-1138s down the QEII at 200 kph. Irresponsible? Not when you can hire a fancy German autobahn expert to testify that driving at this speed is quite reasonable. Pretty soon, Derek will be invited to $25 million homes to discuss the most efficient way to house the poor in squalid shantytowns while ruing the perils of shipping Italian marble across the Atlantic Ocean.

Derek, already with a fancy 25th story office with a excellent window view, is no longer content. He now demands an office with at least 3 marbletop desks, a private bathroom and a properly trained masseuse.

Mr. Beaulac....um....Elliott, we hardly knew ye.



LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This account, while based on real events, may contain some factual inaccuracies