Why I Forsook Shaving

So I recently stopped shaving last week. Why, you might ask?

Well, I really wanted to do something to prevent world hunger.

And I thought that by not shaving, it would draw attention to the fact that my act of not shaving is symbolic of the struggles that people living in third world countries face everyday. I mean, why worry about trivialities like shaving when you can't put enough food on the table?

People have commented on my beard, which surprising looks like a goatee, only spread out sparsely, like a dab of butter knifed too thinly onto a slice of toast.

I know the beard looks absurb. Oriental people, save a select few, are not gifted with the proper physical attributes to grow facial hair with distinction. Rather, they are much more likely to be mocked because the beard lacks that certain fullness suggestive of rugged masculinity. Unfortunately, I lack that critical hair density required to achieve that full effect.

Fortunately, it is relatively symmetrical, for which I am grateful, so that from a distance, it may look somewhat respectable. There are a few barren patches, most notably one above the middle of my upper lip. I must be honest, though. There are a few stray hairs here and there that I have selectively shaven to achieve a more balanced look.

Even my mom thinks I look crazy. She's like, "You look like a bum. Why are you doing this? You should do this when you're older, when you'll be mature and more respectable, not when you are a student."

But her complaints must go unheeded. I must stay true to myself and my convictions.