Montreal

In many ways Montreal is the Canadian version of Vegas. Not in the gambling sense, but in terms of doing crazy shit that you wouldn't normally do at home.

While other Pharmacy students were going to class, or even worse, studying, a contingent of about 50 U of A students went to Montreal, eager to learning about current pharmacy issues, or more likely, party like it was 1984.

I was eagerly anticipating going to Montreal, because well, it's Montreal. There's lots to do there, from each smoked meat and poutine to going to the strip clubs to shopping and seeing French stuff. In theory, the reason I was going was PDW, but really, who's more excited about going to see a pill sorting machine than walking the streets of Montreal?

So I left Edmonton just after midnight Tuesday, due to arrive 8am Wednesday morning in Montreal. I ended up arriving near 6pm. If you're paying attention, that's 10 hours more than it should've. I blame Air Canada. And Montreal. And the God of Weather. Maybe I should've sacrificed a French-Canadian goat. That may have prevented a 10 hour delay in Toronto because of freezing rain in Montreal. When I had finally arrived in Montreal, it was already dark, and the day was already wasted.

I could hear both English and French while crossing a street, or jaywalking as most locals do, creeping slowly into the intersection until a suitable lull in traffic occurs, oblivious to the signs and police mere footsteps away.

We stayed at the Hyatt Regency, centrally located within walking distance of lots of stuff. Four or more people packed into a room with 2 beds. Due to the cramped environment, me and my roommates grew closer together and even intimately at times, for better or worse.

The PDW started off with an opening banquet on Wednesday night, a semi-formal event followed by a dance afterwards. Everyone looked great, dressed in their formal wear, making me glad I did not simply bring T-shirts and jeans to wear.

I must admit, I did not attend many PDW seminars because of the other distractions in Montreal. Most of the seminars were presented in English, with PowerPoint presentations in both French and English.

The first day was the day of the stripper. Along St. Catherine, a bunch of us went to Supersexe, a place where you can get a free buffet while watching strippers. I don't know about you, but I don't really feel hungry when watching women doing their thang. Nice to know, though you can multitask yourself by committing two of the seven deadly sins, at the same time.

At the club, there was the option of a private show with 2 willing ladies who would do virtually anything you tell them to do to each other. Suffice it to say, a classmate said, "it was the best $20 I've ever spent."

Since a bunch of people didn't get their fix, some people went to another club, Super Contact, where you guessed it, contact was allowed, for $10 a song. Mevin was amazed at how much time flies in such a situation. It was like time just slowed to a standstill, while immersed in a soft, comforting embrace. He said one song seemlessly blended into another, melted into the background.

One classmate was enlightened enough to bring a trophy along on the trip, named the Bill Thulman Trophy, awarded to the person who did the stupidest thing while in Montreal. Although no one actively tried to win it outright, there were many opportunities borne out of striaght stupidity and drunkenness, mostly of the falling down and breaking stuff or hurting oneself variety .

Thursday night, there was a pharmacy-only outing at Altitude 737, a bar located on the top 2 levels of a skyscraper. Unfortunately, the club lacked the capacity to hold everyone, and so a lineup for the elevator stretched outside. Inside, the fogged up windows precluded us from seeing a great vista of Montreal, so everyone just mingled, bumping and twitching to music like sardines in a can.

Friday, with most people still recovering from the daze of the last few nights’ events, the Drug Health Fair took place, with many companies showing up to promote their wares, and more importantly for others, handing out free drug samples; notably, the Advil reps handed out samples by the fistload. Friday afternoon, there was a Quebecois Themes and Traditions event that featured maple syrup taffy tasting, complimented with warm cider.

Friday night, a Pharmacy cover band rocked a Retro themed night at Medley, a great venue for a band covering songs ranging from the Beatles to Franz Ferdinand. The night kicked ass, as the Pharmacy band played songs the audience loved, with the retro theme providing hideously hilarious opportunities to show off your 70s/80s fashion style.

Saturday night, the closing banquet occurred, much like the opening banquet. This time, it was punctuated by a performance by a Cirque du Soleil troupe, highlighting incredible feats of acrobatics and flexibility, not to mention the all too revealing skin-tight spandex outfits of its members. Still, the acrobats were pretty crazy, jumping through hoops and doing crazy ninja-like stuff, only in white spandex and without shuriken-induced deaths.

Sunday, we had to leave. I spent some time walking around St. Laurent, and bought a funky T-shirt before I had to go.

Every night, I did not get to sleep before 3 am, and was hanging out in the hotel room while drinking, hitting up in the clubs, or getting some late night food.

Now I'm back home, back in school. Sighhh.....

Missing In Action

Where do I begin?

Contrary to some reports, I was not sold into the sex-trade industry in Montreal, nor was I asked to spy on the French, nor was I abducted by aliens.

I have been back in Edmonton for a couple weeks, and have been preoccupied with school. Not to say I was busy with school, that's another matter.

You know how you procrastinate sometimes? Well, last month I was supposed to write/edit a newsletter for the Pharmacy students at school. It was supposed to be out at the start of the winter semester. Yes, that would be a few weeks ago.

Well, I hadn't done anything for it. And I felt bad about it. So I did the only thing that made sense. I put it off. Assume that it didn't exist. I just couldn't get myself to do the paper. I didn't want to ask for help doing it. Frankly, I was kinda overwhelmed by having to do this project. I delayed. Watched some TV. Surfed the net. Read the paper. Anything to avoid human contact.

Of course I couldn't put it off forever. I do not live in a bubble. (Though that would be interesting. I'd probably be bored with the lack of contact with the outside world.) My actions do affect other people. Most notably the VP-Publications. She noticed the edition of the Pharmacy Quarterly had not come out yet and wanted to know when it was coming out. I gave her some half-assed excuse that it was coming out pretty soon, being deliberately vague.

I went into hiding to avoid the situation. I missed a few classes. I stayed quiet, under the radar. I let this splinter in my mind fracture the rest of my interactions with the world. My life became more dysfunctional than it normally was. I decided I couldn't in good conscience do stuff like update my blog until I finish the newsletter. Isn't that perfectly logical?

After many frustrating days of badgering, delusions and procrastinating, I finally finished it, about 4 weeks after it was supposed to come out.

I can't imagine what will happen when I encounter some real adversity. I'd probably hide in a shed somewhere in the wilderness, and have a shotgun pointed at the door.

And I found out one job I really don't like: editor. I hate finding stuff to edit. Find flaws in something. Getting formatting right is really annoying. It sucks making sure columns are aligned properly and maybe it's Pagemaker. The GUI is pretty counterintuitive, at least for me. You can only undo something once. You can't just rotate pictures easily. You can't highlight text and edit right away. God, I hate the program. I'd like to give it syphillis.



So, what about Montreal? It was awesome. I'll talk about it in my next post.